U.S. Gov't Agrees to Engrave Pentagrams On Military-Issued Headstones

A high priestess from a Wiccan congregation in Barneveld, Wisconsin and her fellow plaintiffs have reached an agreement with the federal government, by which the government is adding the "Wiccan pentacle" or pentagram to the list of the 38 religious emblems the government previously allowed to be placed on headstones. These emblems included those of several rather uncommon faiths, for example Sufism Reoriented, Eckankar and Seicho-No-Ie

Americans United for Separation of Church and State represented the plaintiffs. Rev. Barry W. Lynn, AU director, was pleased with the agreement, saying, "This settlement has forced the Bush Administration into acknowledging that there are no second class religions in America, including among our nation's veterans."

Drive-By Shooting In Logan Square

This morning, a 15-year-old boy was shot in the head at the intersection of Fullerton and Pulaski, on the west side of Logan Square. The boy was shot by an occupant of a "silver Mitsubishi with custom rims." Authorities believe the incident was gang-related. No persons are presently in custody in connection with the shooting.

Public Library in Baltimore Includes Zines Among It Stacks

Lindsay Lohan's Myspace Account Hacked!

Some genius hacked into LL's myspace account and found all of these fucking hilarious myspace messages between LL and her frienemies, including one where Lindsay tells Paris Hilton "u guys use eachother [sic] like tampons." God, Lindsay Lohan is so cool.

New Hampshire Becomes Fourth US State To Legalize Civil Unions

The latest step in the long, arduous trek towards the realization of personal liberty in our country will happen today when New Hampshire's governor John Lynch signs legislation establishing civil unions for same-sex couples in that state. Presently, same sex couples may have civil unions in the states of Vermont and New Jersey, and may enjoy the institution of marriage in the state of Massachusetts.

Lily Allen Just Goes Ahead And Says It

The delightfully glib British pop sensation Lily Allen recently cancelled the remainder of her US tour. In doing so, Allen did something no American celebrity would ever do; she just went ahead and said that she was cancelling because she feels she's been drinking too much.

Roe v. Wade Looks Over Shoulder Suspiciously, Checks Schedule For First Train Out Of D.C.

Today the United States Supreme Court Upheld a ban on late-term abortions. The ruling signals a new approach to abortion in Supreme Court jurisprudence, and many commentators, as well as Justice Ginsberg, think this could be the first step in the process of overturning Roe v. Wade.

Huber Brewery Leaps Up Brewery Rankings Under New Ownership

I was pretty pissed when I heard that Monroe, Wisconsin's Huber Brewery was sold to a Canadian Entrepeneur Ravinder Minhas last September, but apparently South Central Wisconsin's cheap beer citadel is doing well under the new ownership. Last week Madison, Wisconsin's Capitol Times reported that in 2006 the brewery leaped from 46 to 15 in the sales rankings of American breweries. When my girlfriend and I visited the site of Hubery Brewery a couple years ago, they were already producing huge amounts of Minhas' brand "Mountain Crest" under contract. Apparently the Mountain Crest brand is becoming quite a success in Cananda, and here they sell it at Trader Joe's. I really hope Minhas doesn't discontinue the Huber brand--and I'll really miss the old Huber label if he does--but it sure is great to know that of you want good cheap beer, Wisconsin is still your destination.

Fox Compels natalieportman.com To Remove Leaked Wes Anderson Script

Natalieportman.com recently posted a leaked script of The Darjeeling Limited, a forthcoming feature film by Wes Anderson, and then fucking Fox Searchlight made them take it down. To see for yourself, go to the website, click on news, then drop down to the entry for April 3, 2007.

Lindsay Lohan Too Gay To Function?

I knew it. No straight woman has ever had knees that thick. No, seriously; this is pretty cool, I guess, and with a DJ too! How Less Than Zero of her.

P.S.: Lock up your sons, and your daughters, Welshmen!