No Duh: LL On Blow When Crashed Car

Mainstream press finally confirmed the obvious yesterday when it reported that police officers found traces of cocaine in Lindsay Lohan's blood on May 26, the day Red crashed her car in Beverly Hills. Previously, police had only stated that they had found a personal-use amount of the drug in Lohan's car.

Swedish High Court: Prison Cannot Deny Inmates Porn

For those readers who aren't in the know, Sweden is totally the vanguard of human rights among the nations. Last week Stockholm's Supreme Administrative Court ruled that Swedish prisons cannot deny inmates serving time for rape access to pornographic magazines, reasoning that denying such access to porno could "jeopardize the security of the institution." And since this is Sweden's highest administrative court, the government can't appeal, so it is issues of Swedish Swank all around, guys.

Salt Lake Tribune: Child Molester "Got Game"

A male domestic worker who sexually abused the Salt Lake City boy he was hired to care for was characterized by the Salt Lake Tribune as "handsome, smart, manipulative and frighteningly determined to gratify his desires." Last year, when David Michael Busby was released on bail he went straight to a certain little boy's home and raped him, the victim's father said during a sentencing hearing in a Utah criminal court. "He's got game," the father told Judge Randall Skanchy. "It's what you'd expect from a seasoned, world-class child molester. Please lock him up until he's an old man." Judge Skanchy sentenced Busby to 45 years to life in prison. Busby, 28, had pleaded guilty to three counts of sodomy on a child, which carry potential terms of six, 10 or 15 years to life. The judge ordered the 15-year minimum on each count, and ordered all terms to run consecutively. In exchange for his pleas, prosecutors dismissed 31 other charges against Busby, as well as another case involving a different boy.

EU Commission Blocks Aer Lingus-Ryanair Merger

An EU commission appointed to deal with commerical competition issues blocked a proposed €1.5B merger between Ryanair and Aer Lingus. According to the commission's decision, Ryanair may propose a new merger plan if the new plan offers more slots to rival airlines at Dublin Airport. Ryanair will appeal the ruling, which is the first of its kind in the airline industry.

Logan Square Girl Gunned Down On Playground

A 13-year-old girl was shot in the head yesterday at about 6:45 p.m. while playing near West McLean and North Central Park Avenues in Logan Square. Police believe the girl was not the intended target, but rather was caught in crossfire in a gang-related shooting. Grand Central Area detectives are interviewing witnesses, and police are checking surveillance cameras in the area. Avondale Evening Mail have not been apprised of any arrests made in connection with the shooting.

Supreme Court Opinion A Serious Buzz Kill

In an anticlimactic end to Morse v. Frederick (or, as it will inevitably be referred to for decades in law school classrooms, The Bong Hits Case), the United States Supreme Court held exactly what you would think they would in a decision released Monday. In his opinion for the majority, Justice Roberts wrote that teachers and school administrators can discipline students for any speech that is reasonably interpreted as advocating the use of illegal drugs. Quoth the Washington Post: "The only winner in this matter seems to be Joseph Frederick, who (despite losing his case) achieved what most class clowns only dream of: a prank of historic proportions. He even got members of the U.S. Supreme Court talking in chambers about bong hits."

Avondale Home Among 526 Chicago Homes Flooded Tuesday

Tuesday's torrential rains flooded at least 526 basements in Chicago Tuesday afternoon, according to CBS 2's coverage. The Tuel family's home in Avondale, pictured above, was among the homes damaged. Tuesday evening the Tuel residence was filled with about three feet of water. Brandon Tuel, 14, told CBS 2 that he was sleeping on a sofa in the room when the water came rushing in. “I woke up and my socks were wet,” he said. “Water started splashing up on the couch and then before I could think of a way to get out, I started floating and I started pushing off the walls to get to the stairs.” Gnarly, bra.

Today Is International Go Skateboarding Day

The headline says it all, people. The picture above was taken in Chicago last June 21. If you got one, take it out of the closet and go scare the shit out of the police.

Lindsay Lohan An Episcopalian!

My mother is going to be happy enough to cry: earlier this week, Paparazzi photographed Lindsay Lohan going to an Episcopal church! Episcopal churches are part of the mainline Protestant tradition in America and are historically related to The Scottish Episcopal church, a mainstream Christian sect in Scotland in full communion with The Church of England. After so many years of my being enamored with Catholics and Mormons, my mother is going to be so psyched about this one. Lindsay may be Irish, but she's no papist!

Sweden Becomes First Nation To Recognize Heavy Metal Fanship As Basis For Public Aid

Swedish metal fan Roger Tullgren has successfully petitioned the Swedish national government to grant him state aid on the basis of his metalness. Roger Tullgren first developed an interest in heavy metal when his older brother came home with a Black Sabbath album in 1971. Since then little else has mattered for the 42-year-old, who has long black hair, a collection of tattoos and wears skull and crossbones jewelry. Recently Tullgren's metalness has gotten in the way of his work; last year Tullgren felt compelled to attend more then 300 metal shows, often missing work in the process, and eventually found himself unemployed. Tullgren thereafter petitioned the Swedish government, which decided he should receive a state-funded supplement to his income and should be entitled, under the power of Swedish national law, to wear his black hair long and to wear skull jewelry to work. Said Tullgren, "I signed a form saying: 'Roger feels compelled to show his heavy metal style. This puts him in a difficult situation on the labour market. Therefore he needs extra financial help'. So now I can turn up at a job interview dressed in my normal clothes and just hand the interviewers this piece of paper." Rock on, Mr. Tullgren.