Lindsay Lohan As Grounds For Divorce

Gone are the days when one had to allege intolerable cruelty to petition for divorce; these days you just need to name Lindsay Lohan a few times in your petition and you're good to go. One Stephanie Allen--wife of the front man of some third-rate English rock band I've never heard of--has filed for divorce, citing her husband's habitual drug use and alluding to infidelities during his recent stay at the Cirque Lodge in Utah; Mrs. Allen's petition further includes press clippings reporting rumors of an intra-rehab fling with Lindsay Lohan. I don't get what the big deal is; I thought that the wives of rock stars understood that what happens in rehab stays in rehab. Plus, once you've snorted all of the blow you smuggled into rehab, you're going to want to fuck somebody, even if he's in a shitty band you've never even heard of.