U.S. Gov't: Fuck You, I Have To Pay For This War

According the CNN, the total cost of the wars in Iraq and Afganistan has now reached 1.6 Trillian. Yes, that's Trillian. In other words, we have collectively paid out $1,600,000,000,000.00, for the wars and that's just so far. So, why, in God's name, can't the government help me with my totally debilitating student loans? Or do something so I don't have to pay a new tax on every bottle of Old Grand Dad I buy in order to forget about my student loans? You know, if we would just wage $100 billion worth of war, we could pay for a first class education for every American with the other $1.5 trillion.