Saturday, July 26, 2008

Lindsay Lohan Struck By Motorcycle

Holy shit--last night LL got hit by a motorcycle as she left some club in New York. According to the Post, she and Samantha Ronson were crossing 32nd Street when Lindsay was struck by a moving motorcycle. She was taken to Beth Israel Medical Center, treated and released at 4 a.m. this morning. Apparently she's fine, thank God.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

In Appreciation Of Ohio Girls

I love Ohio girls. They just wear whatever was on their bedroom floor and they always smell like powdered sugar and sunscreen. They don't talk about politics or world issues, and they don't care about tapas or fancy cocktails. You never have to buy them anything, because the bars just give them drink tickets on weekends. They constantly use language that would make a sailor blush and they'll kiss you right in front of their boyfriends. They just want to play drinking games and watch TV and they never ask you what you do for a living--because they can remember the day you got into law school.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Normally I Stand Up For Texas, But...

By the way, I just thought I should let all of you cultural studies majors and all of you religious people know that if you live in Texas and you want to abuse your daughter you can pin her on the floor and hurt her for a few hours and if you're a Christian or something you can tell the cops it was an exorcism and the state supreme court will let you go scott free. Oh, and, as a lawyer, I can tell you that the court's claim that this case is really "a dispute over religious conduct that would unconstitutionally entangle the court in church doctrine" is h*******t.