Monday, April 2, 2007

A Modest Proposal: Cut Your Goddamned Hair.



I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a woman who doesn't look like Ben Weasel dressed up like he's in the Pretenders. It's been like six years since this black-on-black Cher wig thing started, can't we try something else for a while? I'm not kidding; It's greasy, it smells like smoke, and it's a constant reminder that you and I are irreconcilably different biologically.

OK, maybe we can compromise; can you at least cut it so I can see your eyes, and maybe wear a nice gingham shirt with a collar? Seriously, take a good look at the pictures and tell me which one makes you want to take monk's vows and give up forever.

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